contradictingmyself as always

Monday, February 08, 2010

people choose who they want to be close to, they have a choice, really.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

怎么办？:( 真的有好多话想说。:(( 很无奈。
算了，当我没说过好了。

人与人之间的关系真的很难搞。

工作上的一个家伙快要把我逼疯了，搞什么小动作之类的。
是我太容易相信别人，还是是我太过笨？
---
现在跟以前真的很不一样，不是一通电话心情就会变的比较好。就算我打给十个朋友，都不至于你一个。好难，真的。

最近的我也跟电话产生了距离感，好像越离越远了。。。

Monday, February 01, 2010

~~anyway heard your fav song playing in office. but well, maybe favourites change ovr time too, i dont know.~~

Sunday, January 31, 2010

i contemplated. but i didnt in the end, because i was so afraid that i would not get a reply back.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

i dialed the 8 numbers, and then i decided that i shld not be so shameless.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

its been a mth. still the first person i want to call, still the same ringtone i wanna hear. :( theres so many thgs i want to say and so many stories i want to tell. Stories are piling up and work is overwhelming.
29 jan is coming, i know u will do well.

And i thought i was ok. till i accidentally pressed the contacts button.

As much as possible, i dont want anyone to become my habit.
---

Time to go on my own solo photoshoot soon.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Woke up this morning and i didn't feel like talking to anyone, just like any other day i guess.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hows everything?
Hows work?
Hows your day?
Hows your wkend?
Hows driving coming along?

-high need for 500D and can't wait for the polaroid relaunch.

Monday, January 11, 2010

想念是会呼吸的痛。

可不可以任性，求求你不要去？

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Was going to search for some backdated msgs sent out from my phone and i unintentionally typed the word 'share'. A whole long list of msgs were displayed, meaning msgs which contained the word 'share' will be displayed. Only then i realised tt we actually really do share 'tt much' stuff with each other. I always knew we shared alot of stuff/info/updates, but i didnt realised tt it was tt much till now. But well, its all thrown away now, i know. So i guess it doesnt matter anymore.

---
Never in my life have i ever imagined tt i am that irritating tt someone actually want to draw a line with me.

---
Some principles/things in life tt ive always believe in:

Family: I will do anything and everything tts within my means to make ends meet, and to keep everyone safe & happy.

Friends: I will do/help with anything tt is within my means as long as my friends are happy.

Guys: I will/shall not do anything from now on even if its within my means.

Labels: i rest my case

Thursday, December 31, 2009

and so 2009 ended with a bang. A real bang literally.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

自尊丢在地上让你踩。

never ever thought tt we wld ever end up like tt. :(

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Last year you weren't ard and i wished that you were here. This time rd you're finally ard, but we still didnt get to celebrate anyways. So i guess this sums up 2009. We'll nv get the 2008 and 2009 bdays back anyway.

从今以后把别人的话都当成空吧。为什么这么认真？吴玉萍，不要天真了。不是每一句别人说的话都算，也不是每个人把自己说过的话都当真。请你不要笨。

Saturday, December 26, 2009

happy?birthday. Maybe not.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Hi all, ive finally gotten a job. A real perm job. Ha, its as scary as it sounds. haha. But as reluctant as i am to start working, i know i have to. I know i cannot be so selfish. Its payback time. Its time to exchange freedom for somethg more concrete and practical, money. When i can finally help my dad with the family expenses, finally get to save up and target on bringing them for yearly holidays. Thats probably the least tt i can do for them i guess.

In fact tts my goal for now :) - to be able to bring them on a trip every year.
I'll work hard ok? :) I care, even though im v much a 口是心非 person i know.

I know. Im totally not excited abt the job at all, but well i guess its a start for now. At least i get to do really marketing and branding related stuff like media advertisements, media sponsorships, plan for product launches, plan for shop opening etc. The job scope is not too bad i guess because at least i didnt have to do sales. haha. Besides, there aint many companies out there who are willing to take in fresh grads, so i guess this is it for now. :) The only downside is tt i wld be required to work on alt saturdays. :(( big downside actually. argh. But well, lets just hope that all is good. People pray for me ok! :) Come lunch with me @ kallang if you're free, i will love you to bits! haha. :)

-somethings are too obvious for a reason i guess. i get it.

Labels: a new phase in life

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

发现到如果打从一开始就没有，以后也不会再有了。

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hi all, im back! :) Really glad to be back home. :) Home still feels the best. It felt like it was more than 7 days, ha. Anyways, we got hit by the earthquake of 6.8 magnitude. I don't know whether to count us lucky or unlucky. haha. Apparently our itinery was being reversed from the 2nd day onwards coz i think there were too many tour grps taking the same route. And we only stayed at each location for a day. And that very day that the earthquake happened, we were at 花莲, which was most badly hit as it is located just beside the Pacific ocean. All of us in the tour grp was pretty much shaken, and everyone were at different places as it was the free time at night. That point in time when it happened, my dad was separated from my mum n i. And yours truly was stucked in the fitting room. damn. the whole room and the shop shook like it was going to collapse anytime! :( And the resistance to run was very strong. its so tough trying to run out of the shop when the whole shop was shaking so badly!! We hurried to look for my dad and luckily he was just like 100m away, and i even saw shi hui! We all felt damn lucky and like damn happy to see each other at that point in time. haha.

It was really like an experience that money cant buy. I think ive became claustrophobic after that. I dare not stay in a closed space for too long now. :( But well, it was a good experience i guess. :) at least everyone was safe. :)) After this whole earthquake drama, it made me realised somethings.

Life is so short, really. Just a split second of difference.

One doesnt need to be too persistent. If something requires too much effort then forget it. It need to go both ways. Somethings unsaid undone, so be it. I gave my best.
有时候觉的没有必要，也不再需要。即然让它走下波是你的选择，我一定会陪合。
不开口，不说话，不约你，不要求，也算是陪合了吧？

Apparently i was so excited to tell it all, but you killed it.
有时候真的觉得自己很笨。

Labels: The 6.8 magnitude earthquake

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Dear all anoynomous, kindly click the x button at the top right hand corner if you find the content here disturbing. thanks. :)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

sometimes i choose to end conversations/is reluctant to start conversations because replies just seem totally uninterested.

Im starting to dread/fear uninterested conversations (where pple just seem totally uninterested to talk to u). I end up not pressing the dial button even though ive dialled the numbers. :( im starting to have this hmm...phobia i guess.

Maybe this is a start.

I know. I am just another person, just like everyone else.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

从前从前...

Friday, December 04, 2009

even though ive to wake up in 3 hrs time for work, but im wide awake. :( i have so many thoughts in my head, i cant slp.

Perhaps family and looking for a job is my main priority right now. And maybe the rest is not important.

Sometimes i question my own importance, and i realized that im probably only impt to 2 people, my parents. i think im in a resign-to-fate state, where you realized that everything else is no longer an expectation but its a bonus to you when things happen. And if they dont, it will just appear as part of being normal.

Labels: 5.38am

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Freedom smells good for now. :)
Oh well, everything is short-lived anyways, right?

Need to get a job soon, and start helping my dad out with the family expenses.

Got to save up.
- Wanna go on a grad trip, and hopefully buy myself a dslr and/or a necklace soon. haha. im damn useless, all i can think of is spending money. :( but well, we'll see.

For once, this is gonna be a happy post. :)

Labels: Today marks the end of my academic life

Monday, November 23, 2009

arghhh. v irritated with myself. :(
super lack of focus, cant seem to concentrate and yet i cant pull myself out of bed till late afternoon everyday. :( if you see this, pls ring me at noon to get me outta bed ok? Just keep calling till i talk to u in a normal voice. Pls do, at least up till 30 Nov. I already refrained myself frm watching dramas (im so glued to the tv) and yet its not working. I end up fb-ing, and even if i dont fb, i start surfing photography sites and if not, i end up slping. ARGH. :( its weird huh. during exam period, i'll do ANYTHING but study.

i tried to befriend the notes, but i just cldnt. it refused to talk to me. it completely knocked me out on lecture 1. :(( someone help me pls? think i shld stop procrastinating even though i only have one paper.

on the other note, looking forward to my family trip! :) its been a longggggg time.
maybe this time rd i'll enjoy posing for pictures much more than the past? haha. (recall the conversation that i had with the cinderella who turned pumpkin last night. :) now we both know where we got those photography genes frm. haha.) maybe its reverse roles this time round? haha.

its also amazingly weird tt my blog posts gets longer when its closer to my paper.

anyway, how can one change drastically without a triggering pt?
- its not a comment/ques, its a concern.

i must admit that most girls think its the outcome that matter, but not for me. If i really think that the outcome matters more, then why i am still here?
its the process, we all know it. but the ques is, so what? nothing is going to change anyway, we're still gg downhill.
and all i cld really do is probably watch it go down.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

And so im graduating soon (like real soon). Kinda mixed emotions though. I dont exactly look forward to graduation, neither do i dread graduating. The good thing is i will probably be able to gain financial independence and help my dad with the family expenses IF i land myself a job. The bad thing (which is a more realistic outcome) is that i probably won't be able to get myself a job anytime soon especially with the bad job market out there. :( Don't tell me i might be lucky and all, coz i nv am and i don't believe in luck. even if it exist, it probably won't reach me. :) and so im doomed isnt it? As much i don't believe in paper chase and all, the world is eating me up by putting gpa on the table. awesome.

i used to know what i want to do, but as i grew older i lose my dreams along the way too. funny huh? ha.

That aside. each time round when i go thru a different phase of my life e.g. TP to SMU, i get v emotional. i hate the part abt leaving. The entire part. :( but oh well, i guess tts just me. Don't know why i start writing such a random post at 5am.

As emotional as i can get, sometimes i get too emotional in other aspects of life too. :( Arghhh i hate it. Oh well, lets hope tmr will be a better day. I'm sure it will be. We'll see. :)

Its kinda hard to adapt to the split personality, really. :(
but i always hope that u're alright. even though sometimes work takes a toil on you, but i know u'll be fine coz u're enjoying what u're doing. :)
and tts comforting enough to know. :)

Labels: time check: 5.39am

what if winning a competition can offer a glimpse of hope to someone who really needs the hope? worth it isnt it? :)

Labels: time check: 5.19am

Saturday, November 21, 2009

your split personality kinda kills me. :(

Thursday, November 19, 2009

~~its crazy how this whole telepathy thing works.~~
~~its not true, its all coincidence.~~

Monday, November 16, 2009

i cant stop you, its all up to u.

Love is giving someone the chance to hurt you and trusting that he wont.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

i hate how u treat me like a convenient good.
why am i still shamelessly staying here?

My heart is damaged.

Friday, November 06, 2009

wished you were here. to pull me thru this killer week . :(

Thursday, November 05, 2009

~~第一次是偶然第二次是必然第三次是命中注定~~ - this is crap.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been

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24 Dec 1986
BBM undergraduate

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Elise wallet
Tiffany & co necklace
Adidas vintage gym bag
more slp
a holiday trip with my family
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to Copacabana beach
short getaway
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